Worship, worship Jesus... But why?

I can't believe you asked this question!

But anyways, before we get technical, the small update is that I am currently preparing for this Friday's worship. And as I do, I feel led to look at what Wikipedia has to say about it ^^

Quoted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_worship#Music:
"In Christianity, worship has been considered by most Christians to be the central act of Christian identity throughout history as the personal act of lifting one's mind and heart to God. Many Christian theologians have defined humanity as homo adorans, that is, the "worshipping man," and thus the worship of God is at the very core of what it means to be human.The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself."

In short, (For those of you who are just too lazy to read this) to worship God is to be human. To be what we are. To be a homo adorans, a worshipping human is to be who and what we were created to be.

And to fight that is like saying that an apple tree refuses to grow and bear fruit, believing itself to be a lion. As confusing as that analogy is, it is what happens today. It doesn't take a "church-goer" to worship. All it takes is someone who loves God. And as I believe I have mentioned in the myriad of confusing, black, mourning posts below that to worship is not to sing a song but to live as one adores another; adoring them so much that one is willing to change, to believe and to live the life that object of worship has called us to live by.

Yet, it is sad to see that worship has become a routine in many churches and no doubt the rest of the world. Though Wikipedia is not much of a research source, it is nice to quote from something the world uses most of the time.

Thus we are led to CCM (Quoted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contemporary_Christian_music) known as Contemporary Christian Music as "...a genre of popular music which is lyrically focused on matters concerned with the Christian faith. The term is typically used to refer to the Nashville, Tennessee-based pop, rock, and worship Christian music industry, currently represented by artists such as Avalon, BarlowGirl, Jeremy Camp, Casting Crowns, Steven Curtis Chapman, David Crowder Band, Amy Grant, Natalie Grant, Jars of Clay, MercyMe, Newsboys, Chris Tomlin, Michael W. Smith, Rebecca St. James, Third Day, and a host of others. The industry is represented in Billboard Magazine's "Top Christian Albums" and "Hot Christian Songs" charts..."

Hot Christian Songs? Top Christian Albums? Music reviews?

What is happening to worship? Has it been degraded to become an industry?

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Sigh... I know this has been repeated time and time again (by me) but then again, who can sit still watching as the world degrades everything that God gives to us. We degrade sex (into an industry), marriage (into a hindrance and legal leeway(sp?)), love (into something only people who visit whore houses are led to believe), bodies (into machines of forceful attraction) and so on.

Sigh sigh sigh... At any rate, I just remembered why I even began this post. ^^ Give me a sec as I open up a new post.

Massive lashback ^^

If the title fooled you, HAHAHAHAHAHA! There's nothing massive here to read so I...

made you look
made you look
made you look
made you look
made you look
made you look
made you look!

Mwhahahaha!

Anyways, yes yes. I haven't been posting for a while. Some people have just hinted or came outright that they read my blog to check up on my life so since my reply to the question "So how's life?" comes with a "It's ok.", I thought I might as well put something here being a blog and all.

(And not being able to access the disk(sp?) I brought is also another issue :p)

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Well... everything's been... ok ^^

THE END



Fine fine! I admit. It hasn't been all rosy. But that's life eh? I thought before I begin, we take a peek into other peoples lives.

How?

Look at their Facebook comments of course.
They are:-

- says "WHEN LUV GOES WRONG, EVERYTHING GOES WRONG"!!
- is viewing xixi's blog
- had a totally awesome time at The Hunt! XD I am so going to get whoever it is to fix the freashfaces website. The voting deadline is so near! -(><)-.
- is celebrating hari raya in melaka.
- is drinking a BIGGEST cup wit teh tarik... 3 - 4kg weight!
- is preparing for the upcoming doomsday week..
- is determined !
- feels so tired n sleepy.
- is off to SL from 29 Sept-5 Oct! Pls pray for us and the team!
- 's otak has some content anyway...
- is hyping something.
- is at starbucks having muffin & greentea latte :D.
- ~buzziE... BacK In M'cCa...
- is still in sakae sushi. Code Geass R2 ending is shocking.
- says "suplise!"
- simply loves simplicity. it is just so simplifying! :)).
- will be attending 'The Sleeping Beauty' ballet!
- R is for the Rendang that u eat, A is for the Angpow that is green, Y is Your invite to your house, A is for All the holidays that we get.
- is loving Barbara Bonney`s rendition of Ave Maria.
-wishes all her Muslim family and friends Salam Aidilfitri!! Maaf zahir batin!!
- is resting...is very sorry and guilty ..
- is busy playing guess the sketch.
- is very very very blessed !!!!
- is preparing for tea party and barbeque.. beach themed.
- is kangblabla hardcore photographing on thursday and friday!!!
- had a wonderful day... and is waiting for THE pictures =).
- me luv u baskin robbins;..-) longing 4u..........
- is eating grapes now....
- is looking for a housemate. Location : Palm Spring @ D'sara near The Curve. For more info, visit www.housenotice.com. Thanks!
- noted of religion wif nation's politic enhancing de coming times.....out of de abundance of heart de...
- is frust of the water leakage from the top of the roof!! bloody get some renovation!!
- is pangsai-ing........-_-."
- is writting new book about Neosocialism and Capitalcommunism.
- is in a boutique watching fiance trying gowns for wedding.
- just got back from Deluge Nite.. am dead tired.. >.<.
- think ''we should be contented..."
- is working in UberFusion now..
- is happy today is Friday. Hope nothing stupid crops up.
- will be a teetotalist in approx 2 days =).
- shouts, "SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE!"
- is being happy birthday-ed, thanks all..
- has just one more to go!woohoo!
- is going to shout. yuan wong ahh!!!

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And so on and so forth.

So what would that tell you? From the short list here (it's not everyone in my contact list. I gave up trying to copy and paste all of them), you can pretty much see that people are different and they live different philosophies and different lifestyles.

In school we all kinda become as uniformed as the ones we wear in school. But when we come to college... Aha! Differences, ideals crop up distorting what would be a picture perfect view of the world.

The fact is, people are different and there is NO steryotype(sp?) for any person. A person who is quiet to you would not necessarily be a nerd or a person who studies or what not. He could be very vocal when it comes to certain times and appropriate times. Or someone who is very talkative is not necesarily your jock/miss popular kind of person at other places.

And not only saying that, we still have to count moods in. I could be the world's greatest speaker but in actual fact I only do that when I am roused to a certain topic. Or I could be the most boisterous one around when it comes to parties and then suddenly fall into some emo, quiet and darkly composed mood the next day.

The phrase "don't judge a book by its cover" has been repeated time and time again only because it has not sunk in. That's what we all are. JUDGES. Judges towards what people are, either consciously or subconsiously. WE do it all the time, putting every person into the standard mental boxes in our heads, pinning everyone to their safe places within our cerebral worlds.

That's just that being that and that. That's not much to say about it but I've been given unlimited space and a rather large ammount of time to do nothing.

In essence, don't think you have to lift yourself up to the standards of others. If they don't think they like you or they need you, fine! There are billions of other people in the world.

If the whole world turns its back on you, fine! I still have the Loving Father ready to accept me at anytime.

That's what we love about God eh?

It's not about being holy or hip, annointed or blessed or cursed or sinful or within the rules of the Word or whether I am in the right denomination or the right path or the right way or what not.

The important thing is that we LOVE God. And we remain as crazy about Him as He is about us. I mean come on! Whose's crazy enough to die for you so that He could spend time with you?

It's not about the things the movies or people teach you. It's not about being holy or about holy verses or about your annointed hands or your prophercy or your gifts or the way some chord is played right in some hyped up worship concert. Or whether you went to some camp or some retreat or some class.

So that's one thing I'm telling everyone.

Stop trying to force your stereotypes on me. Or anybody else for that matter.

I'm not trying to be holy or smart or wise or eternally happy or a person who does his devotions 24-7 or doing what you think I am doing. I'm just being myself, going with MY God and hopefully making you understand that He just DIED TO BE YOUR GOD AS WELL AS MINE.

Think about it. Stop judging me and putting your social rings and boxes on me. I feel so suffocated and drained for having to live up to those standards. Which is why I love God! He sets the standard but he never ever pushes me. He just waits for me to come along and waits as I refuse to move at times. It's just Him. He loves me for who I am.

Tired. Depressed at times. Lazy. Having a couldn't care less attitude. Honest at most times. And a person who thinks he's empathic when he most likely isn't.

And so on and so forth.

Heck, I dare not even JUDGE MYSELF. Let alone anyone else. That's what Paul said and I respect the wisdom there.

Only God is worthy of such judgment. And if He doesn't judge me, who can? Not me. And certainly not you.

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If you are wondering why the sudden explosion? It's not an explosion. It's merely me, calmly typing in an air-conditioned office, knowing that unlimited space can be a sin ^^ As well as literary skills of course.

And if you are also wondering why this blog only features emo stuff, get ONE...THING...STRAIGHT...

It's a blog, a place where I store all the things I cannot say or dare not say. So be happy when I don't post. Coz that would mean...

I have no emo-things to pen down. Rejoice!

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Do I judge myself too hard or press people's unintended expectations on myself?

Most probably.

But that would mean only one thing.

I'm human.

Emo-ness over and out.

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PS: For those of you who have commented and I have not replied. It's because I have nothing significant to add ^^ Or probably its because I'm lazy.

Too long and still the same

To touch, to hear, to smell is but the beginning of life. To suffer and work hard is the beginning of living.

I could always start with something like that above but then I would probably get comments such as "What is the first line about again?" But anyways, here's from a long, long, LONG time of not posting. Sorry...this happens (Should I add, always happens whenever it comes to the holidays. I can't seem to find the time to write).

What has been happening so far eh? Well...for one thing,

Work...

Ga...The very word turns to ash in my mental mouth :p Yet, I guess there isn't nothing more driving or should I say, motivating than a good dose of work to have you begging to return to your studies.

But work has not been all that bad.

The first week drove me to a fever and such but er...I guess I got the hang of it after that. You know, folding, ironing, folding, arranging, folding, attending to customers, folding... You know the drill. As to what I am doing...? (Drum roll please) I am currently selling children's clothes at Brand's Outlet. While tremendously improving my Melay as well - having of course almost every other colleague of mine Melay or a Chinese-speaker. (I do this as a cover for my top secret identity as world's top billionaire a.k.a. world's political puppet master)

But enough about work. I'm returning to it tomorrow and I am already shuddering at the thought.

But life goes on...

The only reason I have been able to write so far is because of my wonderful 1 week break! Mwhahahahaha! I hear you working people groaning already. So...I will repeat it. 1 week break! Mwhahahahaha! (Thunder and lightning in the background) What can a 20-year old dude do with in 1 week you ask? Simple. Spend it all! Mwhahahahaha!

Not wanting to detail the whole thing down knowing you would probably dread reading it and therefore waste OUR time. I would like to proceed with a summary.

Day 1 - 3
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Penang was the destination for this first three. Though waking up at 3 in the morning was not the most refreshing and exciting of choices, that was what we did. (Although we had to wait till 5 before we actually moved out. Sigh...the sacrifices we made) So in order for revenge, I slept through the four hours, leaving the driver and the front seat passanger to their own company. Mwhahahahaha!

Anyways, I won't tell you where we went (This is my blog not a tourist attraction website!) but it was interesting to note how you appreciate friends once you have spent three days with them. Or rather you begin to find how much less in common you have than you originally thought.

If you are wondering which group of friends these are, they are my secondary school mates. Though I barely recognize them at all now. In the sense that, we have grown far apart. We still have certain things in common (3 hour sessions together are fine) but extended time will just begin to kill the relationship. To me, it seems that they have stopped dreaming, stopped being who I knew or rather thought they were. Especially when a two of them brought their girlfriends along.

Perhaps they grew up and I got stuck somewhere in the maturity process. I don't know... It scares me to see how far we have grown apart and how little we have to talk with each other now. They seemed to have grown harder now, tampered by the world's logic and the possibilities of clubbing, booze and the like. Sex talk + "gay-ism" and the usual comes with this package as well. (Not helping the fact is that most in the group were boys.)

Sigh...

Perhaps I AM being too naive. I thought I would enjoy the trip. But I guess I didn't really like it. Not really... Well...maybe half of it was fine... But...sigh... I suddenly lost my friends... It took me so long to realize till now... I really miss those days... The days when we played imaginary games together, spun tales during recess, adventured together... Not anymore... not anymore... They still seem to click well together but I can no longer click with them. I see them grouping together constantly as I stare quietly away from the group...

I did try one night...To bring back something besides "empty" talk. I asked them about their dreams. Own a few properties. Yada yada yada. And the list goes on. My dream sparked a debate and loads of cold water. It was then that I realized that they had forgotten how to dream... how to hope...

Penang was may have been fun but...perhaps not as fun as I expected it to be. At least, not for me.

Day 4 - 7
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I went to Youth Pastor's School! Woohoo! For four days, we were hung on the cross to experience the pain of the crucification and ministry. Nah! Not really. but it was fun; having went last year with a team and not going out after the sessions to fellowship, I got a good dose of that this year.

In contrast to the...ahem...above, fellowship here was cleaner :P And more fun! We learnt a lot and I got an answer to my question. Met a whole new bunch of friends as well ^^

But yet, time and time again, I could see opportunities slip by. Opportunities to throw in a good line for a good fit of laughter or opportunities to throw a funny greeting as I pass by... Sigh... It seemed as if every table I sat at during the meals was the quietest of the four. It was always some OTHER table which had the sudden bursts of laughter.

I would eat my food in silence and mentally smack my head for not sitting there. Sigh... And when I did sit with the noisy guys... They became quiet.

From my observation there are types of people when it comes to table conversation:
1) Honkers: These are the life of the group and the noisiest of the lot
2) Salt-shakers: These throw in good lines that just spice up an earlier joke to make it even funnier
3) Sceneries: These are there to smile and occasionally add a comment or two
4) Void: These not only do not make conversation; they somehow stop everyone else from saying anything

I seem to fall within the forth category. It must be a gift to shut people up. I don't know... I don't seem to be able to come up with funny come backs or greetings the way Jeremy and Iggy do it. If only I were in the third...just the third...and I would be satisfied... Sigh... I see the look on people's faces when I answer. Their faces don't usually change but you can see their souls dropping in silence, saying things like "Why did I have to sit beside this...this...THING?"

Occasionally I could see the people beside me throwing glances at me, trying to find something to say to me but my void-like abilities seem to be at the peak of the human race. They don't usually say anything. Even Pastor Clement or Elijah was at a loss for words... And... sigh... why can't I just be normal and open my mouth to speak?

Oh that reminds me. When I do speak or reply or try to add something to the conversation, it sounds as if I were reading out of some factual text book. The usual replies I get are nods and faint/strained smiles...

Oh yes I can tell myself... "Although no one speaks to you, God speaks to you!" Nice to hear but not easy to live out... But doesn't even Jesus have good friends? Did He...? I don't know... It seems I am falling back to another emo period. But I guess it should come naturally by now. I should accept the fact that I am not a people person and just move on...

I will try... so Lord help me keep my eyes and heart on the cross...

A new...day?

After leaving this place alone for quite some time, I guess I thought I might as well pop by. It has been interesting. This entire month I mean. And I really mean that. Holiday-ing while trying to do nothing is horrible :p It gets really boring after two days.

So I have been playing along with song composition and thanks to Iggy's book (Here I am to worship by Tim Hughes) I am deeply encouraged. To know that Brother Tim took 3 years to write one song is indeed something interesting to note. And to also know that the song 'Here I am to worship' was actually shelved because he thought it didn't sound good is indeed a revelation. So several rules when composing:

1) Remember to rely on God ^^
2) Don't push yourself. Inspiration comes in bits and sometimes in a rush
3) Never be your own judge

Well, I have also been re-editing a book of mine. And that in itself needs a lot of inspiration as well. Sigh...As always, I must keep the three rules in mind and also to continue to seek God for guidance.

Sigh...I've also been pushed into looking for a job which now I have found... In Ampang Point as a retail promoter :p Well...I guess it's something for starters. I have noticed one problem with me. I sort of cringe up into a shell whenever I approach a stranger to ask for work or even call them... I don't know why but I suddenly shrink into a shell the moment I pick up the phone for a job... I don't know what's wrong.

And the worst part being that I only seem to want to work at something I enjoy. Maybe as at some publishing company or something like that. But tada! We're in the world... and that being that...They usually require experience or some degree/diploma qualification... Sigh... So much for that plan...

Finally, the last thing I have been doing with my time is working on some musical for Christmas ^^ For the church that is. But...again...I am strangled by my own judgment. Especially when I look in Youtube for inspiration on musicals and their songs. :p

Why you ask?

Well, I will lay out my selfish reason right here. Sigh... I have always wanted to be involved in some singing production. High school musical for example... Sigh... Or some traveling Christian band...Maybe even the Youth Alive band... How heart breaking it is for me to watch them on the stage, yearning, wanting; not for glory and fame but to be up there, singing with people who have the same yearning to worship as I do...To feel so uplifted in the Spirit as we praise and worship the Lord our God... Sigh...

No no! Not as a worship leader. As a back-up singer. Did you know that's where my passion lies? Well...I don't mind leading one song...but I don't want to be the worship leader... I would love to be back-up singing... Strengthening the lead's voice... Not playing any instrument... Just...singing...So I can pour out my sould as I sing... Sigh...

Perhaps I do yearn for such fame...I don't know...perhaps...and the worst part seeing my own friends from other churches go up and me starting to wonder...why...perhaps I went to Glad tidings I may have a better chance...But I heard from a friend that sometimes they practice from church to church...I don't even have my own car...Sigh...

I guess...one of the things we have to handle in life. Or you know...sometimes I wished I could be part of that 'Prayer Tunnel' at the HUGE camp...maybe...just maybe...because in my heart burns the passion, the need to pray for others... Or perhaps it is a need to be known... I don't know...

Maybe if I went away and got some degree in theology everything would work out for the best. Then I could be like Tim Hughes or Matt Redman. Traveling the world, working out songs for the glory of God...Heh. There comes the spirit of envy and jealousy.

But anyways...

Concluding that, I am currently doing my braces so...yay...having two teeth pulled already and another two tomorrow...doesn't make my days look any better ^^

One thing I have learnt from braces though. Putting on your braces is really like coming up with a project.

When your teeth are pulled out, it hurts like crazy and continues to sting after a while but it is all part of making yourself look better AND getting all those pesky bits out of your teeth. This is very much like starting as project. You brainstorm like crazy, work out with sweat, blood and tears and then, finally some rough final product is done.

Then comes the braces. Screwed on, they hurt but the worst part is coming back for that torture every month for about a year. This would very well be akin to reviewing the project again and again and again; battered by criticism and comments.

So think about it this way. Once you start, don't stop! Imagine if I had stopped the process before I put the braces on. Then I would be left with several missing good teeth and having a hard time to eat. (That's kinda happening to me now. I have been eating porridge and nestum the whole day now.

Sigh...I don't know. Maybe I am dividing my time too much. Or maybe...I am not distributing enough time... Maybe maybe maybe... Well, we all know who holds tomorrow... Only thing is that we can SAY we believe in God but only when situations attack us or threaten to overwhelm us do those words become tested. Sure...you can tell yourself that this will be a testimony but can you do it for what...10 years?

I'm not saying every trial is going to last for that long but one thing's for certain, it will hurt... Sigh... In this world, you shall have tribulation... sigh... When I can return back to heaven...? Away from all this...? Lord...grant me the strength...

Don't give up

I had in mind to post something else but I opened my e-mail and I just had to post this up.

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One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I t ook very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

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You hear that ye little problems. My God is bigger than ye!!!!

In the same sense, this was what pastor told me (with less words of course). Sigh... I guess several years from now I am going to look back at these problems and realize the 'bamboo-ness' in my life after all. :p

Now give me a moment while I post this up and put up another entry. ^^

Ahem...people. Who says the Lord does not speak to you PERSONALLY?

Where do you stand?

Yay! Finally got into a composing mood so perhaps...maybe...well...I got a chorus here and a verse there so I am heading somewhere at least. When I have something viable then I will put it up ^^ Will be going to a studio this Friday just to jam with a friend of mine as well as listen to a few of his own compositions. Hopefully we might be able to come up with something. Would be kinda cool though.

That's the thing about worship. It is really uplifting even in the lowest of times. And when you don't feel like worshiping, don't worry. Just keep pressing in and remember that worship is not about making YOU feel good it's about declaring how good God is. ^^ Worship really reflects the lifestyle of a person and also one's spiritual maturity. Which is pretty cool.

Sad to say that our church hasn't gone very far in that area at least. Not that I'm expecting loud music and the 70 year olds to be jumping about but have you seen people who really worship God? I mean like REALLY worship. They don't really care who they are with or what they are doing or whose worship leading or if a musician is playing a part right or what song is being sung! They just go all out to worship! I confess that I am not one such. I still occasionally keep an ear out but I'm trying not to. It's helping a lot when I really don't feel like worshiping.

I...have a confession to make however.

Just last Sunday when Rev. Sos gave the altar call, it was a rare time when I was prompted to open my eyes. Lo and behold, I saw before me the multitudes, sitting behind...not standing up...or raising their hands...some leaving the service...or going to the...washroom...

That broke my heart. I was so angry!

You pray for an open heaven but how can we have an open heaven if your heart is not even given to God!? Did you think you could pretend to look holy so that when others pray and receive and open heaven you would be able to share in that as well!?

NO!

Why do you think an open heaven comes!?

It's when the ENTIRE congregation prays EARNESTLY for it. NOT for its signs and wonders but to bask in the glory of God! I found at camp as well, not that I was judging but what the Lord impressed on me, that when Ps. Jeremiah and Ps. Ronnie spoke of weight loss and gold teeth, the church got very excited!

But what were they excited about!? The signs!? That's wrong! How can you be excited about the signs when you don't know the sign-giver!? When you don't love the sign-giver!? How dare you expect signs from Him then!?

Sigh...what Rev. Sos said was right. Our church is only fulfilling 10% of its capacity but even after he said that, only 10% came forward for prayer! What is wrong with these people!?

And I am speaking to the youths as well. Don't you DARE go to the toilet during altar call! That's the best part of the service, the time when God speaks to you! And you go off to the toilet!? You had so many opportunities after worship, before service, during the word. Why can't you go then!?

Sigh...what our church needs is not only a wake-up call. Perhaps my prayers have been wrongly directed. We don't need a wake-up call. We need personal convictions in each and everyone of our hearts in order for the church to move. And until that happens, our church is never going to fulfill its true potential in Christ.

Want to know what a REAL church looks like? Go to Acts after the Holy Spirit descends. THAT is the actual church. Not us with our hierarchy, need to please Man, feeling the 'strains' of service, leaving the POWER and RESPONSIBILITY of prayer to the leaders, wondering why there aren't any 'COOL' songs during worship, thinking altar call is the end of the service...

The list goes on...

What does that say about you now...?

REPENT! Even as I pray for my own forgiveness, check your own lives! Because do you know what is the first sign of revival...?

Repentance.

There and back again ^^

Finally! After several horrifying weeks of exams, I am finally free for three months and thus I have devoted myself to updating this blog.

And yes...this is right after church camp so I did what I said Oliver ^^

Church camp was cool! Thank you Iggy and the team who made it possible for us to go to the camp. It was really fun and had a very different kind of annointing. Who knows? It might be the wake up call our church needs to rise up to its namesake.

Ever wondered why our church is called Revival Centre? Well, aren't we supposed to be the centre of revival then? But anyways, before we tread into those deep waters, here are things I would have wanted to say but did not.

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Sorry people for not being very talkative at the tables or perhaps not being able to talk to everyone. Sigh...actually come to think about it. I get a sudden surge of fright and anxiety whenever someone approaches me... I have no idea why. Erm...so for all those of you who spoke to me about the blog in church... Heh... Sorry for suddenly like retreating into a shell. I grew like...suddenly extremely frightened and suddenly my brain will freeze up, not being able to respond coherently. (This mostly to Iggy...)

I wonder... what do people actually talk at tables. I mean...well...sometimes when I am at tables with John Reuben or Jeremy or maybe even Shawn (No offence guys. You were the first ones I could think of) I always wonder what to say. And it grows extremely awkward when... no one is saying anything. Like...isn't it kinda weird if I keep on asking bout school or college everytime we meet up? SIgh... I wonder what people ever say.

I REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU.... But I just don't know what to say... sigh sigh sigh...

Anyways, here's a really cool video I found for a sudden favourite band of mind. Casting Crowns! I have been listening to it through the exams and beginning to get addicted :p Don't worry. Not being emo. But think about how true this song is...



Lyrics
------
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

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Father keep our eyes and hearts open onto you...